Jesuit James Martin's “The Not so Social Gospel” — Republished as, “What if Jesus Had Been a Republican?” — Perfectly Satirizes the Foolishness of Compartmentalized Minds

© 2014 Peter Free

 

31 December 2014

 

 

Citation

 

James Martin, The Not-so-Social Gospel, America (23 August 2012)

 

 

Religion seems to serve most people as an avenue to feeling better about themselves, rather than as a motivation to actually being better — as measured by the tenets of the tradition that they have chosen or been born into

 

Jesuit James Martin’s short satire perfectly illustrates what would happen, if we had to uncompartmentalize our minds — thereby forcing ourselves either to:

 

 

(a) live by our religion

 

or

 

(b) change it to reflect the way that we really are.

 

He begins this way:

 

 

1. When Jesus returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at his home.

 

2. So many gathered around that there was no longer room for them, not even in front of the door; and he was speaking the word to them.

 

3. Then some people came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them.

 

4. And when they could not bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him; and after having dug through it, they let down the mat on which the paralytic lay.

 

5. When Jesus saw this he grew angry, “Why did you wreck my roof?  Do you have any idea how much that cost to install?  Do you know how many tables and chairs I had to make in my carpentry shop to pay for that roof?  The reeds alone cost five talents.  I had them carted in from Bethany.”

 

6. The disciples had never seen Jesus so angry about his possessions.  He continued, “This house is my life.  And the roof is the best part.”  The disciples fell silent.

 

7. “It’s bad enough that you trash my private property, now you want me to heal you?” said Jesus . . . .

 

© 2012 James Martin, The Not-so-Social Gospel, America (23 August 2012)

 

 

Fake Jesus goes so illustratively downhill from there — that AlterNet recently retitled Father Martin’s piece to What If Jesus Had Been A Republican?

 

For example:

 

 

1. As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up to him and knelt before him, and asked, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”

 

2. And Jesus said to him, “What have you done so far?”

 

3. And he said to Him, “Well I was born into a wealthy family, got into a good school in Galilee because my parents donated a few thousand talents for a building with a nice reed roof, and now I have a high-paying job in the Roman treasury managing risk.”

 

4. Looking at him, Jesus felt an admiration for him, and said to him, “Blessed are you!  For you are not far from being independently wealthy.” And the man was happy.  Then Jesus said, “But there is one thing you lack: A bigger house in a gated community in Tiberias. Buy that and you will have a treasure indeed.  And make sure you get a stone countertop for the kitchen.  Those are really nice.”

 

© 2014 James Martin, What if Jesus Had Been a Republican? AlterNet (23 December 2014) (paragraph split)

 

I recommend reading the satire in its brief entirety.

 

 

The moral? — Parables can be useful for achieving a semblance of clarity, especially when they are flipped into their conceptual opposites

 

Though I doubt that the selfishly hypocritical people that Father Martin targeted have either the courage or the moral sense to see his point.