Texas Governor Greg Abbot, Senator Ted Cruz, and the Jade Helm 15 Conspiracy — Republican Sub-Monkey People Arise

© 2015 Peter Free

 

07 May 2015

 

 

Occasionally someone writes even less diplomatically than I do — which, given my probably non-benign nature, puts a smile on my face

 

Republican talking points and lunatic idiocy are frequently synonymous:

 

 

Texas Governor Greg Abbott has ordered members of the Texas Military to monitor federal troops in an upcoming two-month training exercise planned for the Lone Star State.

 

Presidential candidate Ted Cruz, who was well in the running for the dumbest bag of skin and cookie dough in all of politics even before any of this came up, promised he'd get to the bottom of things.

 

"My office has reached out to the Pentagon to inquire about this exercise," [Senator Ted] Cruz . . . told Bloomberg at the South Carolina Republican Party's annual convention.

 

"We are assured it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty, because when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don't trust what it is saying."

 

Jade Helm 15 [see here] is the latest in a very long series of whimsically titled training exercises conducted by the U.S. military in order to maintain troop readiness, test combat strategies, and otherwise work out the kinks in America's reliably top-notch ability to blow the holy hell out of any nation on Earth with a single presidential phone call.

 

None of this would merit more than a few stories in the local papers, had not some of America's singularly stupidest patriots . . . decided that it was all a cunning ruse. Because Obama. And Muslims. And FEMA.

 

The supposed Jade Helm 15 conspiracy may be the single stupidest thing to come out of Texas in 20 years, and for a state that has reliably given us such treasures as Louie Gohmert, Steve Stockman, Ted Cruz, Rick Perry, and George W. Bush himself that is saying something.

 

It may not even be possible to adequately convey how stupid this story is.

 

There may not be words in the English language—there may in fact be no words in any language, simply because no civilization has yet existed that ever needed to convey a stupidity as deep or as empty-headed as would apply here.

 

It is a stupidity so stupid that we may be able to use it as future measure of the viability of nation-states; if a majority of any definable population is stupid enough to believe this thing, it is evidence that that population has lost the intellectual ability to maintain a government.

 

© 2015 Hunter, What Is the Jade Helm Conspiracy, Stupidest Thing to Come Out of Texas in 20 Years?, AlterNet (07 May 2015) (extracts, resequenced)

 

 

The moral? —If there is a good argument for eugenics, the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy makes it

 

Without intervention, the United States is soon going to make its sad way out Rudimentary Intelligence’s anus. To be deposited on the pile of social experiments that failed, due to a lack of even monkey-level smarts.